I just read A Spot of T’s blog and she got me thinking. That happens a lot when I read someone else’s blog, by the way.
She wrote about how she wants to focus on real friendships this year. People who actually take her up on offers to go and do something. It got me thinking that this year I’d like to actually take people up on their offers to get together.
I often feel lonely, wishing that I had more friends. Other people seem to have so much going on in their lives. When I take a second look at it, however, I realize that I’ve received many invitations. I just don’t actually do much about them. I want to, but I guess I’m nervous. I find it scary getting to know someone new. Inviting them to my house opens a whole can of worms of being embarrassed of the mess. It is possible, of course, to meet somewhere else instead, but I still worry about how the conversation will go. Will we “connect”? Will they like me? With these concerns running through my mind I don’t end up making that call. I have 3 or 4 phone numbers given to me with the open invite of “we should get together sometime” just hanging out in my possession. The only thing stopping me is fear. Ridiculous, I know. So, this year, I want to change that. I’m a good conversationalist. I’m friendly with a fine sense of humour. I’m an all around nice person. Why am I afraid that people won’t like me? Even if they don't like me, that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It’s time to get over caring what people think of me. I don’t want to wait until I’m forty to feel more confident…what do I mean by that?
Well, it seems that the people I know who are forty talk about this peace that comes over them. They feel more at ease with themselves. They’re no longer trying to please or live their lives for others. May-be some of that really does just come with time. It may take another seven years before I really “get it”, but I figure there has to be some effort put in as well. It can’t just automatically happen with the turning of forty, can it? Well, I’m going to do some preparation. There are some things I want to accomplish by the time that number comes around for me. Confidence in myself is one of them. Perhaps this year will be the beginning for me. In fact, I know it will be...
7 comments:
It's a good plan. From the short time I've read your blog I would say that you are interesting. I'm sure others would find that too.
So get out there and be you. The world awaits.
Oh, and don't forget to blog, ha,ha..
Thanks! "Look out world! Here I come." Cheesy but fitting. ;)
I found as soon as I hit thirty that confidence came - I am LOVING my thirties - the confidence that it has brought and not worrying what others think.....Don't wait for a magical number - be in the here and now!! My Mum told me that the thirties are the BEST decade - but you are often too busy to appreciate it! The more older people I talk to about this - the more people I find agree - the thirties are IT....the forties are good as you have more time for YOU, but the thirties are the time you are most alive....
A good plan indeed. You'll know it when it happens Debbie, whether you're 30, 40 or 50. Sooner the better though eh? :o) I have stepped outside my comfort zone and met or had people over for coffee and sometimes it works out great and sometimes it doesn't. Now that I'm in my 40's I'm willing to open up a bit and take the chance at friendship. Something I wouldn't have done in my 30's for some reason. If it doesn't work out I just chalk it up to two people not being compatible that's all. Doesn't mean they are horrible people, just not compatible :o)
We have a lot in common. I always wish we/I had more friends too. I also feel lonely sometimes but other times I feel on top of the world.
But you are right that there does come a time when you gain that confidence where you don't really care what people think about you. I'm pretty much at that point and I think it started a few years ago. And it has paid off at work for me. It is a mind set...that's all it is.
I hope ours is one of those phone numbers. I know...I know...we have yours too. We should at least start getting together for coffee and build from there. OK? ;-)
Oh...and to quote Oprah...YOU GO GIRL!!
Jane: It's great advice - not waiting for that "magical" number. You definitely sound as if you've got your shtuff together. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I hope that it happens more often then not in the future, though.
Joy: You're one of the people in their 40's that I take as inspiration. I love reading how you've overcome some of the hurdles in your life. And you're right about it if a meeting doesn't work out. I tend to be quickly hard on myself. ex. What's wrong with me? or Did I say something stupid? I’m going to work hard on stopping that silliness.
Sirdar: Your number IS one that I want to call more. Your wife reached out to me that time, and it was wonderful. I guess I feel like I need a legitimate excuse to call you guys. There's no reason to feel that way - I just do.
JEEZ! I hope that I get over this insecure shit soon! I'm sick of it already.
Well I'll warn you right up front....the chances of me saying something stupid are about in the 100th percentile. Not many people get my sarcastic sense of humor so they tend to look at me like "Is she joking, I can't tell if she's joking??" Sigh. I'm joking :o)
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