She’s been having a “Soul Series” on her radio show. I love it, and it just makes me even happier and more grateful that I have this radio. Yesterday her guest was James Hillman who wrote “The Soul's Code: In Search of Character and Calling”. I just have to share with you some things that stuck with me from their conversation. Keep in mind that I’m obviously paraphrasing. I was driving and couldn’t very well take notes!
What really struck me was how he says we can figure out our Calling. I struggle with this at times. What am I meant to do? What is my special gift to the world? He says you find out by asking yourself, “What do people want of me?” You know when you say of your friends, she’s really good at this or that? That could be her/his Calling. There’s nothing wrong with being really good at doing people’s taxes. We need those people. Or being a good listener, friend, or mother. I have a friend who is awesome at organizing. When I need help in that department, she’s the one I ask.
I also like how he separates your Calling from being a celebrity or even from your vocation. It CAN just be as simple as having a wonderful sense of humour. Those people always seem to bring light to a dim or sad day. I think of you, Joy, in this way. Someone who is calm in an emergency has a special gift, too.
So, our Calling doesn’t have to be this huge lofty idea. It can be, of course. Oprah certainly has a huge Calling. But it can also be “small” and be just as special and important.
Hillman goes on to say that we begin to see signs of a Calling in childhood, and it often appears as dysfunctions. I remember an interview with Lance Armstrong along with his mother. She was asked what he was like as a child. She answered that he was always on the go. Non-stop. Climbing, running, etc. Don’t we all know kids like that? And in this society we seem to want to drug them.
I think of my daughter. She is in her head a lot. She can be a bit dawdley and she takes her time with everything. She is so creative,though. She loves to go to where we keep our craft stuff, and just come up with ideas and make things. On her own. Her habit of being slow CAN be a bit of a pain when you want to get somewhere. She’s always the last one to leave school, the last one to eat lunch, and she never finishes her craft in class. When the other kids are just quickly colouring their pictures in she’s the one who’s taking her time and making it rainbow coloured. And my son gives me a different set of challenges. He’s determined and loves to be first at everything. When I question him and mention that he should give someone else a turn being first in line or whatever, he becomes frustrated. “So, should I just go slowwwww?” he asks like it would be the most painful thing. I’m not saying we shouldn’t encourage and teach our children boundaries. My daughter needs to learn that sometimes she’s holding people up, and my son needs to learn good sportsmanship. But when I look at these traits in a different way I can have appreciation for them and actually embrace them.
I look forward to more in this Soul Series.
10 comments:
What a great post Debbie...this conversation has been running in my head lately...
Just last night I was telling Jeremy I wonder what my purpose is besides being a mom and a wife....maybe that is all what is meant to be for me...Sometimes just being a mom feels so under appreciated...I KNOW it is the most important job on the planet...but how many times do moms have other people come up to them and recogonize them for being a good mom. When you work in the real world you get recognized with raises, awards, advancements, etc.
That is interesting about Lance Armstrong's mom and so true about what our society does for active little boys. Just yesterday a mom at Cub Scouts told me she was getting her son back on his meds...I asked her WHY? He is a perfect little boy. Active, polite and a joy to be around...she said he doesn't focus and sit still. Very sad.
Ya...its hard to figure out what your calling is. I still don't know...might never know.
I recognize that place in the pictures. Obviously a summer picture. Great place to go for a walk.
Great post Debbie. I think we all search for what our calling is at times.
Also I do need to add about putting kids on meds. Don't always judge them. Yes some kids that are on them are just active and shouldn't be. The parents might not want to really try to handle them. Some kids such as my Joshua are on meds and really need to be. You have to live with an ADHD child to really understand. He has been through testing and years of me saying no way to meds but when i saw that his behavior was holding him back I knew we needed to do something to help. He is on a low dose for what he takes and only takes it on school days or times he really needs to be able to have that focus on this. Honestly it is also for his safety. When he is not on his meds his mind moves to fast he gets a thought and doesn't have any concept of consequences such as jumping of a two story building might hurt him, yes he has done this and fortunatly (don't know how) didn't get hurt. We have 3 other kids that are completly different when it comes to this it is very apparent with Joshua. We waited a long time for it but I honestly feel he is safer on them. I could go on and yes I see lots of kids on it that just do not really need it but if you've seen some of my posts on him it does not inhibit his true personality just gives him the ability to think first.
Such a wonderful post Debbie..
Thought provoking and a one in which does require further consideration.
You have identified the characteristics of your wonderful children and their qualities are will be their asset in future years.
What we have and what we may aspire too - is born from those characteristics and the security within our home.
Really do appreciate your posting this piece here - also thank you for the very kind comments you have left on my site.
Blessings for a lovely weekend.
nhpniSirdar - Yes, it's a lovely place for a walk. :) Can't wait for summer (or at least for all of the snow to go).
My4Kids - You're right, and I apologize. I shouldn't judge what I don't know. When I first started to respond I was going to say that it's just the knee jerk reaction with drugs to which I was referring. But I don't personaly know anything about that either. I only know what I read or hear about in different stories or news broadcasts. What I keep hearing is that out of all of the drugged kids only about 10% are necessary. Maybe that's wrong, though.
Anyway, thank-you for your response. I'm glad that what you're doing is keeping your son safe and happy. :)
Ha ha! That's where it went. I was filling in that letter code thingy and noticed that the letters weren't showing up. Now I see that I typed them at the beginning of Sirdar's name. :)
It's okay Debbie. I just tend to get touchy about it since it is something I have to fight with my parents about all the time. They think its terrible he takes meds but they don't live with it and they don't have to deal with the school, etc. Its just frustrating to be honest. You are right also though. Alot of kids who are on them shouldn't be. I understand why some people comment about it.
my4kids..I just wanted to say that I am well aware of kids out there who do need meds and they do help...I wasn't intending to offend anyone...the little boy I am referring to I see every week for an hour and a half...and he just doesn't seem like a kid who needs meds to me. And I could be wrong because I don't live with him...I admit that... I do happen to have a niece who is on some meds for her ADHD and it has helped her out quite a bit. I applaud parents like yourself who look to alternatives first before resorting to medication.
The photo's make me realise just how much I miss photography and have decided to purchase a digital camera.
I know I am behind the times with my trusty 35mm - still loyal I guess to my oldie camera - when it works that is!!
You have some beautiful scenic views and must be really peaceful for walks with the family too.
Blessings for a lovely weekend.
I agree 100% with what you 'first' said Debbie and Heather. 100%. It's been proven time and time again that 'sometimes' doctors and parents are WAY too quick to jump for the meds. And I won't be apologizing for saying so either :o)
This post is excellent Debbie! I started at Heathers and worked my way back to this first post. I might have to get me one of those radios. Good old Oprah, she sure makes people think. I won't repeat what I wrote because I think I wrote enough in the next post on this. But I'd love to hear more, this is such a great topic.
I see so many people walking around wondering why they were put on this earth. To do what? I think too many people look for those big huge things when in fact it will most likely be the small things that give us the greatest pleasure.
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